***My apologies to "The Simple Woman" blog....I don't know how to put the link on my blog!! ??? Someone give me a hint?***

For Today...
Dear Lord,
I bring you my shortcomings... please help me, Lord, to be a Godly wife to my husband and accept him when it's toughest. Help me to understand, no matter what desicions he makes, that it is my place as his wife and Your child to encourage him, support him, show him, remind him of the right way. Please draw us closer when I feel like turning away from him. Please give me patience. Please give me the endurance and strength to hold our little family together and be the source of peace in troubled times. Please help me to make our home a place of comfort and refuge. Help me to find the joy in taking care of our place instead of grumbling about cleaning and all of the mess. Help me to take care of my own body so I can better take care of my family. Steer me away from those who enjoy drama and have unholy intentions. And Lord, help me quit drinking pop!
I bring you my worship and praise... oh, Lord thank you for my beautiful babies! Every single minute with them is Heaven. What have I done to deserve the honor of raising these beautiful bundles of joy and wonder?!!! I am so unworthy!
I bring you my prayer... for my husband. Lord, I know the path a Christian walks is not easy. You have a plan for each of us...please extend Your loving hand and guide my husband in the right direction so he may see the fulfillment and peace in taking care of his family. Your provision is his provision for our family. (thank you SR!) and what he provides allows me to give the very best to our children and our home. I feel this is where You want us to be at this time. big changes are ahead for our family...help us keep our hearts toward You and keep our faith strong!!!!!!
You spoke to me... in drawing me home to my children. In giving me the strength to hold my husband and let him hold me when we were having a hard time. In my baby's snuggle this morning. In giving me Shawna. In the beautiful Christmas lights on the tree near Unionville...each little light on its own isn't too spectacular, but put them all together and they are magnificent. Such a metaphor for life!!!
Small things Lord...fresh new toofies, freckles on hayden's cheeks, good lasagna, my husband's warm breath, my mom laughing at my babies, my grandma carving the turkey, and my home, as meek and meager and plain as it is.

today is my last day at work. i don't know how i feel. it's bittersweet. i am so excited to be home with my children! the ONLY thing i am scared of is charlie not having a job. i am going to have a big talk with him when i get home. God, please help us remain on Your path.

well, life is short, we'll all be dead soon, so why be upset about anything? ALL that will matter in the end is how you lived for the Lord and kept your faith in Him through everything that comes your way. sure-- it's easy to have faith when there are no challenges! but what about when everything is wrong? what if your money suddenly dissappeared? what if your health took a downward spiral? can you avoid the anger and blame that comes with those circumstances? that's a little harder, isn't it. things happen! and bad things happen to good people. and sometimes those good people didn't cause those bad things. things just happen. not letting poor circumstances affect your faith and disposition... that is the true challenge, and therein lies peace.


(p.s.--this is not about charlie quitting his job...that IS his fault and I AM upset! but...please refer to the final line, above.)

Not MEEE! Monday

It wasn't me that just ate 6 pieces of toast. With real butter.
And I didn't snoop to make sure Charlie wasn't watching the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader tryouts.
And it wasn't I that gave the baby a spatula to chew on as he stood naked in the bathroom while I tried to get ready this morning.
And I don't like chocolate.
It wasn't me that called the old lady a Ding Dong when I was in a hurry to work.
It wasn't me that forgot to get formula last night and had to get it this morning, making us all late.
And I didn't force feed the baby 2 bowls of spaghetti right before bed to try and get him to sleep better.
I didn't forget to call and cancel my dental appointment.
I didn't toss my gum wrapper down in the parking lot, either.
And I would never prance around in front of my husband in cute jammies and then refuse him when I'm mad.
My toenails are fully polished.
I'm not wearing a $40.00 red lace bra and mint green granny panties with a hole in the side.
I washed my hair this morning.
It wasn't me that used a Sharpie when my eyeliner ran out.
And it DEFINATELY was not me that shoved the dirty roaster pan back into the oven when I saw my mom pull up in the driveway.
It wasn't her roaster, either.
;)

"And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls? And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? If ye then be notable to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest? Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is today in the field, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Luke 12:22-31, KJV

I'm not as grumpy today. Thank God. I think it's because it's Friday and I'm only at work for 2 hours. And I'm GOING to buy a new pair of jeans after work. I tried on every pair and took pictures of myself with the timer on my camera and it was awful! I'm 29 years old and I am not going to dress like I'm 59! And even when I'm 59 I'm still going to try to dress modern and classy. After lots of consideration, research, thought and prayer, I have concluded that just because I'm home with my kids doesn't mean I have to dress down. And..... just because I wear jeans and cute tops and earrings doesn't mean I'm a bad mother. Or that I'm giving less to my children. Or that I'm promiscuous. Those ideas are just obsurd!!!! And JUDGEMENTAL!!!!!!!!! My path to God is stronger than ever, and I do believe that it will continue to grow within myself and my family as long as we put Him first in everything we do. It is not my aim to dress flashy, attract other men, show off my wealth (ha!) or my body, or present myself as better than anyone else. I can remain modest while dressing in what I LIKE and what I feel looks NICE and what my husband likes and what is fashionable. And I feel good about it.

This song is SO me

Already Gone, Sugarland

My Mama mapped out the road that she knows
Which hands you shake and which hands you hold
In my hand-me-down Mercury, ready to roll
She knew that I had to go

And hangout, make lots of noise
And lay out late with a boy
Make the mistakes that she made 'cause she knew all along
I was already gone

I was already gone
Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on

They say the first time won't ever last
But that didn't stop me, the first time he laughed
All my friends tried to warn me the day that we met
"Girl, don't you lose your heart yet"
But his dark eyes dared me with danger
And sparks fly like flame to a paper
Fire in his touch burning me up, but still I held on
I was already gone

I was already gone
Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on

The last time I saw him, we packed up my things
And he smiled like the first time he told me his name
And we cried with each other
We split the blame for the parts that we couldn't change
Pictures, dishes and socks
It's our whole life down to one box
There he was waving goodbye on the front porch alone
But I was already gone
I was already gone

Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on
I was already gone

Grumpy

my teeth hurt, my stomach hurts, my eyes are half open, my husband's mad at me, i'm hungry, i'm broke, i'm cold, my house is a mess, i'm more exhausted than quincy's first month home, i'm lonely, i need new clothes that fit, i'm jealous of my husband's past, i want to go home and sleep, i want my house clean, i want to be organized, i have nooooooooooo energy, i feel veryyyy pregnant, i have a bad attitude, my car is a disaster, a possum got into my trash on the deck, i just wasted $0.75 on a bag of chips that i don't even want, and now i have a meeting to go to where i will probably fall asleep and get fired. at least i could go home and nap.

my man!

1. Who is your man? Charles David Lupton
2. How long have you been together? 2 years in January
3. How long dated? We are still dating! :x
4. How old is your man? 27
5. Who eats more? oh, HE DOES, for sure! When we go out for breakfast, he orders: an omelet with all the meats and all the cheeses, which comes with hash browns and toast and he gets gravy on his hash browns, and also chicken fried steak with all of that extra stuff too, and also a Belgian waffle. and he eats it all!!!!!!!
6. Who said “I love you” first? He did...he was at work and I was asleep and he text me I love you! and when I saw it, I just cried and hugged my phone and fell back asleep. then, when i talked to him later that day, he said it first before we hung up.
7. Who is taller? he is, just perfectly
8. Who sings better? his voice is better, but I'm the one that knows the words!
9. Who is smarter? that's too random of a question
10. Whose temper is worse? definately mine...he's the only one that can calm me down
11. Who does the laundry? me...unless he's washing his rig clothes at the laundromat
12.Who takes out the garbage? hayden!
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? him (the outside)
14. Who pays the bills? both of us
15. Who is better with the computer? me
16. Who mows the lawn? He does, and i LOATHE mowing time! he's close enough that i can watch his every move but too far and too sweaty and too busy for me to love on or talk to!
17. Who cooks dinner? mama, and we cook together sometimes
18. Who drives when you are together? daddy
19. Who pays when you go out? daddy
20. Who is most stubborn? oh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,daddy, for sure
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? daddy again
22. Whose parents do you see the most? mine
23. Who kissed who first? he went to get us a pepsi and turned around and asked, "can I have a kiss before I go?" I thought he'd never ask!
24. Who asked who out? I asked him!
25. Who proposed? he did...on Christmas eve, in our living room, with our baby in my belly
26. Who is more sensitive? i think he is. but he's making me return to that sensitive girl i used to be before the tough time in my life.
27. Who has more friends? i think i do, but our friends are both our friends now
28. Who has more siblings? him
29. Who wears the pants in the family? daddy!
30. How did you meet? at a "gathering". i saw him and said, "this guy won't leave me alone, come outside and get me away from him." which was true, but i grabbed him because i thought he was cute! then, we talked awhile and exchanged numbers and met the next day for lunch and have been together ever since!
oh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i miss him desperately!

Ok, so I don't know why, but I keep feeling the need to get pretty. Maybe it's hormonal, but I really think that it's because I'm feeling better about myself. Here's the thing. It's a fine line between making yourself pretty and being materialistic. I don't think God expects us to not wear makeup or not buy things that look nice on us or not dress up when we're just "at home with the kids" (if I am wrong about this....BY ALL MEANS, TEACH ME). It makes me feel good to paint my nails and be able to have the jeans that make my backside look great and have a few things that are special and make me feel good. I know that feeling good comes from the LORD Himself, and it comes from the inside out. And I feel good on the inside, which is why I'm making an effort to LOOK GOOD on the outside. And just because you've made it to the point where you are comfortable in your own skin, does that mean you can't pretty yourself up? I guess what I'm asking is, does being a Christian woman mean I shouldn't wear flashy earrings or sexy things for my husband? Please tell me how you feel on this! I'm kinda lost...I know what I FEEL, which is: it's just fine to dress in what makes you feel good if that's your taste, as long as you abide by these few rules...1. it is not demeaning 2. you have the room in your budget and it doesn't take away from the family (if you buy yourself a donut and coffee, it takes away from the family if you want to get technical...) 3. remaining modest as a mother and a Christian 4. it doesn't become your source of happiness...a false happiness, and 5. you always focus on being a good person FIRST and FOREMOST. Please tell me what you think. I'm ignorant to what the bible says about this. I am anxiously awaiting approval from a fellow blogger to copy and paste a part of his blog on mine because it really helped me. Maybe soon. Until then, is it WRONG of me to want these things?...

Hair like this.

A body like this.

These jeans (built for a booty like mine).

and this wedding dress?

FOR TODAY ...
Outside My Window...dark and cold, rainy. I'm trying not to let it reflect upon my mood. Trying really hard. Hard to try when it's dreary outside!!! I am thinking...I got up early with son#2 and had time to get ready...and it paid off. I look pretty good today. I am thankful for...charlie agreeing and believing that me staying home is what's best for our family and him working so hard to make that possible. From the kitchen...I'm eating graham crackers and a mountain dew now and tonight we are having broccoli and cheese baked potatoes since it's just Q and I. I am wearing...brown dress pants with a pink and dark brown plaid design in them, a pink shirt with a white ruffle neck shirt under it, silver hoop earrings and black heels. I am creating...an autumn wreath that the boys and I are coloring for the front door. Also, some ornaments for our tree. I am going...to leave work a little early today and take a nap with my baby before we get Hayden from school. I am reading...other blogs for inspiration. I am hoping...that Charlie will listen to God's guiding words and steer away from the greed, lust, and "easy living" that Satan tempts him with. I am hearing...nothing. Ahhhhh, nothing. "To really pray is not a matter of dashing into the presence of God, "spitting out" to Him what is on our minds, and then dashing away again. We will never get very far in prayer that way. I sometimes think the Lord purposely gives us times of stillness in the night. Normally I sleep well, but sometimes I think the Lord awakens me so I can talk with Him, because in the night a person can truly be still and utterly quiet. This is especially true in the early hours of the morning before noise begins in the streets. Even the birds are at rest during this time. I believe God tries to teach us throughout our lives that to wait upon Him requires quietness and stillness. Spoken words are not enough; silent worship constitutes genuine prayer."-Christian Weiss Around the house...Oh man, it's a mess today. Toys, clothes, papers...I have a big job ahead of me. One of my favorite things...watching the night turn into day. the sky gradually lightens and it's a fresh new beginning. A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: clean, organize, start working out. I want to be ready for summer by next fall! Here is picture thought I am sharing...

the pacific ocean at laguna beach. this pic restores my soul just looking at it.

FOR TODAY ...

Outside My Window...kinda dreary, cold out there...makes me wish hubbster and I were in sweaters and jeans drinking coffee in the cab of our old truck parked out in a field.

I am thinking...I can't wait to be "Secretary of the Lupton Home"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am thankful for...oh, my husband. Love is not the word for what we have. Saying "I love you" just doesn't seem fitting. It's not enough. You know what I mean?

From the kitchen...just ate parmesan chicken and 2 big scoops of broccoli and a long john and a diet pepsi and workin on some apples and cheese. I can't get enough to eat! Tonight it's lasagna and leftover corn casserole for Q and I. His middle name should've been Lasagna.
I am wearing...khakis, green tee and black hoodie. and pumas. OH man...I'm wearing the same thing only the tee is pink. I'm a loser!

I am creating...an office in my home. And organization to EVERYTHING. And homemade Christmas gifts!! I can't WAIT to get started!

I am going...to grab some crafting stuff at Walmart this weekend and set up a spot for us in the basement. Hayden LOVES to draw, so I'm making our basement into an office/craft room/scrapbook room/t.v. room/toy room. I would love to buy 4 long tables and put them all along the wall end to end to give us plenty of room.

I am reading..."A 6th Bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul".
I am hoping...that Charlie finds the place he fits in and all goes well with mama staying home.
I am hearing...my pop fizzing, the clock ticking...and quiet. "Be still and know that I am God."
Around the house...remnants of Daddy time...dishes, scarce leftovers, laundry, all pushed aside to make the most of our weekend together. Lovingly messy.
One of my favorite things...decorating my freshly cleaned house for the holidays, while listening to music. also, my children's art work.
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: spending time in each room, listening to my heart to find what needs changing in order to make it more comfortable and nurturing.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

I am in LOVE with these old Hacienda Doors from Mexico. I am NUTS over Mexican antique doors. Someday I would like to purchase a set. I'd hang them on the wall and just look at them all the time. I'd have a dinner party in their honor. I'd even put their picture in my wallet.

"Not Me!" Monday

No, this is not my third diet pepsi today.
No, I did not use the fax machine at work to send out applications for my husband.
It wasn't me that ate the last 9 cookies and drank the last of the milk last night. again.
No, I am not blogging at work.
No, I didn't just send my husband a picture of me eating a long john to tease him while he's on the bus. starving. and grumpy.
And I'm not the reason Hayden's wearing 2 different socks today.
No, I'm not sick of the "1st Black American President" hype.
No, I do not want a computer for Christmas.
And no WAY do I want to take a nap right now.
:>

FOR TODAY ...
Outside My Window...windy, cool, sunny.

I am thinking...I just want this day to be over.

I am thankful for...time to reflect.

From the kitchen...oatmeal and toast. and mountain dew.

I am wearing...khakis, green tee and black hoodie. and pumas.

I am creating...a clean office for the next lady to take over when i leave.
I am going...to leave work early today and get some cleaning done before charlie gets home.

I am reading...nothing. listening to music.

I am hoping...to be in a better mood, quickly.

I am hearing...nothing. my office door is shut and i like it that way today.

Around the house...it is an absolute mess.

One of my favorite things...sleep.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: who knows...when charlie's home, it's up in the air. i am going to make our thanksgiving dinner on sunday, though, just in case he's not home again before thanksgiving.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

FOR TODAY ...

Outside My Window...bright sun, twittering leaves, cool breeze, lots of little pumpkins sunning themselves on the picnic table.

I am thinking...oh, so much to do...God give me strength and stamina to get it all done!

I am thankful for...my health...i haven't taken ANY heart medication or had ANY racing pulse in about a month. woo hoo!!

From the kitchen...rotisserie chicken and green beans and watermelon.

I am wearing...scrubs...rough morning!

I am creating...a warm, comfortable, peaceful, cheerful, comforting, exciting home.

I am going...to miss my husband so much if he has to stay another 2 weeks at work.

I am reading...scripture online.
I am hoping...Charlie comes home tonight. And I'm also hoping he stays another 2 weeks. Money or time together? We shouldn't have to make that decision. But right now, we are considering BOTH such a blessing, so whatever God will grant us is what we will enjoy.
I am hearing...chatter in the hallway, and the song playing on youtube: "Die Without You" by PM Dawn. (that's an oldie! but one of my favorites, still)

Around the house...paper, markers, pumpkins...getting ready for Thanksgiving crafts and decorating for daddy!!!

One of my favorite things...when charlie and i find each other in our sleep and kiss and drift off holding hands.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: getting the house ready for the assessor, filing papers, getting bills ready, decorating for daddy if he comes home, starting Christmas lists, planning our menu, lots of one on one time with the boys.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Brainstorm

Just woke up with a lot on my mind, thought I'd blog it out. It's gonna be a bit rambly, unorganized, and probably totally random. My immediate thought as I start is just how blessed our little family is. We had a rough morning...Q pooped all over his bed, Hayden wouldn't get up, my hair is a total mess, and I managed to burn our eggs to little dry chew-things and we each had about 3 bites before we gave up on breakfast. As I was driving the kids to the school/sitter, I can hear them laughing together and playing in the back seat, and it totally warmed my heart. They love each other so much! And it's so natural. I never had that...I'm an only child. It's so cool to me, knowing my boys have each other forever. There's an assessor coming to view our home on Thursday, and I've been running around trying to get things done and realized...I'm complaining because I have so much to do, when I should stop and be thankful that God has blessed our family with a modest little home that is OURS. I am seeing His work in so many aspects of my life, and even as I am typing this, I am filled with His spirit and it nearly moves me to tears. When you give yourself to God and finally surrender to His love, your whole life changes!!! I am living as I have never lived before. I am not judgemental, I am not rude, I am not vain, I am not quick tempered. And I am seeing these things in other people and steering myself and my family away from them. I am seeing each and every item/person/opportunity for what it is, and thanking God for it. He has shined His light on me and brought me through so much, because I seeked Him and kept faith that His way would guide my family and I. And it has! I have made the decision, through following Him, to put all of my love and energy where it should be, and that's with my family and my home. I feel Him pulling me, and it's the most amazing feeling. "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11

Count your blessingsName them one by oneCount your blessingsSee what God has doneCount your blessingsName them one by oneCount your many blessingsSee what God has done
When upon life's billowsYou are tempest tossedWhen you are discouragedThinking all is lostCount your many blessingsName them one by oneAnd it will surprise youWhat the Lord has done
Count your blessingsName them one by oneCount your blessingsSee what God has doneCount your blessingsName them one by oneCount your many blessingsSee what God has done
Are you ever burdenedWith a load of careDoes the cross seem heavyYou are called to bearCount your many blessingsEvery doubt will flyAnd you will be singingAs the days go by
Count your blessingsName them one by oneCount your blessingsSee what God has doneCount your blessingsName them one by oneCount your many blessingsSee what God has done
When you look at othersWith their lands and goldThink that Christ has promisedYou His wealth untoldCount your many blessingsMoney cannot buyYour reward in heavenNor your home on high
Count your blessingsName them one by oneCount your blessingsSee what God has doneCount your blessingsName them one by oneCount your many blessingsSee what God has done
So, amid the conflictWhether great or smallDo not be discouragedGod is over allCount your many blessingsAngels will attendHelp and comfort give youTo your journey's end
Count your blessingsName them one by oneCount your blessingsSee what God has doneCount your blessingsName them one by oneCount your many blessingsSee what God has done

"Give me the end of the year an' its fun
When most of the plannin' an' toilin' is done;
Bring all the wanderers home to the nest,
Let me sit down with the ones I love best,
Hear the old voices still ringin' with song,
See the old faces unblemished by wrong,
See the old table with all of its chairs
An' I'll put soul in my Thanksgivin' prayers."
- Edgar A. Guest, Thanksgiving

Our little stinker!

Q and i went to visit our neighbor's new farm and acreage today. i just wanted to move in. they are painting and will be moving in in about a week. it was so beautiful and quiet. i could just see my family and i resting peacefully and spending what little time we have together someplace like that. more on that later...but combine the pics below to get a glimpse of where the perfect setting for the Lupton farm would be. (anywhere, as long as we're together)